My Badger Hat

I recently bought a fearsome badger-hat
It sits where my school cap once sat.
I was told; "Return that animal to its natural habitat"
But the badger said "No!" and that was that.

It's growing bigger, getting fat
From the people it's eating, my badger hat.
I believe, in its greed, it consumed my cat
And scared away my best friend Pat...

...Who ran away, like all the rest
(at least those folks who it didn't digest).
"Would you be rid of the beast?", I answered "Yes!"
But it ate my priest after I'd confessed.

I now bow and stoop just to carry that
Fierce badger, who smells like a sewer rat.
He even looses his droppings upon my back,
How I wish I'd kept my old school hat!